Feature image from THEBUMP
I have an 8 month old baby. I knew it was always going to be tough. I knew having a baby was going to be the biggest, hardest, most important thing in my life. I knew some of my experience would be horrible.
Many people have asked me about my experience being a parent. Many of my friends have asked me what it is like having a baby. “What’s the very worst thing?” they ask.
The Lack of Sleep?
In the first few weeks of Byron’s life, I slept about 1.5 hours in a 24 hrs cycle. I was fucking tired. I did not know it was possible to be that tired and not die. I had hallucinations and wrote garbled gibberish in my diary at 4 am in the morning. I was face punch wrecked.While nothing can possibly prepare you for the soul breaking, loss of consciousness, heart crushing, mind numbing tiredness of new parenthood. Broken sleep is not the worst thing.
We never really got a lot of crying. What people don’t say is that some babies don’t cry very much at all. We have a very delightful happy baby boy who laughs and smiles and will lay awake in his cot in the morning chatting and playing until we come and get him for breakfast.
No, it’s not the crying.
I have been surprised by how little parenting has to do with poo. We have had a couple of nasty Poonami’s but they have been when our son was unwell. Normally there is a very civilized poo in the nappy twice a day which takes up about 30 seconds of my time.
No, it’s not the poo.
The death of my sex life? No, it’s not the death of my sex life. My husband and I have been having wonderful post-baby sex (albeit a little quieter) since about 6 weeks post birth.
The death of my Social Life?
No, it’s not the death of my social life. In fact, having a baby is the most social ‘job’ I’ve ever had. I spend all day catching up with friends, visiting people, hanging out in the park and seeing family. I have never had so much time for all the other people in my life. I’ve met so many mothers through my mother’s group and all my old friends have been simply amazing with my son.
Losing my figure?
No, it’s not losing my figure. In fact, I have a better body now than I did before I feel pregnant. I walk all the time and I’m eating healthy in front of my baby to set a positive example. I am stressed out a lot too which has always helped me shed the weight.
The Death of my Career?
No, it isn’t the death of my career that is the worst part about having a baby. My career was on hold for a few months after the birth, but I’m already working part time now and loving being back at work.
For me, the very worst thing about having children is that after reading all the parenting books I could find, studying pregnancy, birth and child care in every spare moment I have, being more organised than ever in my whole life, managing my time better than anyone I know, learning how to communicate with my partner like never before, consciously teaching my baby patience, compassion and joy for life - Everyone I meet, tells me how LUCKY I am!!!
Are you fucken kidding! Lucky. I have worked my ARSE OFF for this life and people consider me lucky.
Lucky. I have worked my ARSE OFF for this life and people consider me lucky.
I exercise like a bitch, I studied sleep training and stuck with it long after I thought I should give up, I eat well, I am tight with money to save for things I love, I waiting to find a man I truly loved to marry and I practice every day speaking to him with kindness and compassion.
I try all the time to be a good friend, and set reminders in my phone if I think I’ll forget a birthday. I go for walks with mothers group people evern though I don’t like walking because I think it’s good for me to make mother friends.
I spoke to a woman the other day who is has huge problems with her child sleeping. She told me how lucky I was to have a great sleeper. I asked her how many baby books/sleeping books she had read, and how many days she has put in to teaching her baby how to sleep? And how much she knows about the science of sleep? And how many times she has chosen her babies nap time over doing something with her friends. And she had not done a single one of those things.
That ain’t fucken luck sista!
Give Mumm credit when credit is due!