These are all people I have actually said – At I have felt so sad after hearing them, feeling hassled by all the comments and opinions which are actually insensitive. It literally doesn’t stop. I have been told what to do while pregnant at least 10 times a day.
“Don’t find out the gender – If you spoil the surprise it won’t be as exciting to meet them, you won’t care as much when it comes out.” I could not believe this when I heard it. It was dumbfounding, that someone could think that because you already know the gender, you won’t give a shit about meeting it – Like gender is the one and only interesting thing about your child. Oh My God.
What I realised as I was listening to this woman speak was that she was not actually talking to me, she was justifying her decision to me, because I was making a different one. She was trying to draw me onto her side because the more people who agree with her decision then the more validated she will feel about her choice.
“Eating white cheese is ok – You’re being really fussy.” I can’t believe that people are so willing to comment on other people’s food. It blows my mind. What I do and don’t eat is a personal choice that need not involve anyone else. At first I defended my choices and explained why I had chosen not to eat soft white cheese. Now I just it’s my choice and my decision and not another word.
“You actually can eat…. I ate it all through my pregnancy and everything was fine.” See above
“You can have a bit of wine, don’t take it so seriously.” See above. Drinking alcohol while pregnant is a personal choice. Everyone has access to the same public information. From that information people make different choices. I am choosing not to drink at all while pregnant. End of story.
“I don’t think you’re very excited about this baby.” This one was hard to handle. I have been pregnant for 4 and a half months now, I’ve had a long time to get used to it. Every single day since people found out I was pregnant it is all they want to talk to me about. When I try to chance the subject and talk about anything except being pregnant – I have been accused of not being excited enough. Someone actually asked me if I even wanted to have a baby, because I tried to talk about my work instead of the baby.
“Don’t sit/stand/do that/move that way” It’s like being a little kid. Everyone tells you where to stand and what to do. Like being bossed around like a little child by people who you ha e never met before.
“You’ve ruined your life” Yep, I got this one too.